How might this help?

your relationship with your therapist/counsellor/life coach

Your relationship with your psychotherapist, counsellor or life coach is unique. It offers you the opportunity to experience support and understanding and presents you with the right kind of challenges at the right pace for you. Whether you want to work through a particular issue in counselling, to deepen your sense of yourself and free potential in psychotherapy, or to set and achieve goals in life coaching, good psychotherapy/counselling/life coaching provides structure and subtle guidance through the process.

I’ve also recently written an article for UKCP with some ideas about how clients can get the best from therapy and you’ll find a link to this in the Linktree in the footer below.

Your relationship with yourself

In the context of psychotherapy and counselling, when we aren't aware of how the past is affecting us we can become locked into behaviour patterns. Sometimes these patterns were necessary to us at earlier stages of life. For example, a troubled family home might have resulted in your becoming emotionally cut-off. When you were young, this may have been your way of coping. But in your adult life it may have turned into a difficulty communicating, achieving what you want or in maintaining relationships. Through the process of psychotherapy and counselling, this can change. You can experience yourself in a far more understanding, constructive and compassionate way.

The behaviour patterns referred to above may also of course be true of someone who employs a life coach, but they will often be limited to observations in the life coaching process. Life coaching is much more focused on the present and setting and achieving goals. In the process of achieving these goals though, relationship with self can greatly improve. 

Your relationships with other people

In terms of psychotherapy and counselling, one of the positive effects of knowing yourself better can be an increased understanding of others. As this develops, we can learn when to contain or express our feelings and to communicate in ways that weren't possible before. This gives others the opportunity to respond to a real self and not to a system of defences. It's possible to feel truly understood.

Many types of self-limiting patterns, including addictions and compulsive behaviour or sexual problems, are expressions of feelings related to the past. Psychotherapy and counselling can help you to see your patterns, why they've formed, and to free yourself from them. Working with a therapist and counsellor, you can find new ways of responding to life that better reflect your true self.

In terms of life coaching, the process will give some space to self-limiting beliefs to the extent that they stand in the way of you achieving your goals. By achieving goals, as mentioned above, relationship with self improves and relationships with others will often change as a natural result of that. 

 

Other common FAQs

Which issues do you work with?

I have a broad range of clients and have worked successfully with the range of issues including the following: 

  • dependencies and compulsions,

  • anxiety,

  • anger management,

  • attachment issues (intimacy, commitment, etc.),

  • abuse issues (emotional, neglect, physical and sexual),

  • body image,

  • co-dependence,

  • divorce and separation,

  • loneliness,

  • effects of working in a high-pressured corporate environment,

  • family issues,

  • feeling stuck, 

  • depression,

  • grief and loss,

  • lack of meaning and purpose,

  • men's issues, 

  • narcissism,

  • relationship difficulties,

  • self-esteem and self-confidence, 

  • sex and sexuality (including bisexuality within a ‘straight’ relationship), 

  • stress and stress-management, 

  • who am I? 

HOW DO I KNOW WHETHER PSYCHOTHERAPY, COUNSELLING OR LIFE COACHING IS RIGHT FOR ME?

At your initial appointment I’ll take a client history, including discussing your reasons for considering counselling, psychotherapy, or life coaching. This is an opportunity for you to make sure that you are comfortable with the process and for us to know that the process will be helpful for you. 

What are the differences between psychotherapy, counselling and life coaching?

Although there are overlaps between all three processes, a useful distinction can be whether you choose short-term, long-term or very specific work/health/relationship goals.

Psychotherapy tends to be longer term work with the aim a deeper understanding and awareness of self through self-examination, generally to improve relationship with self and, in turn, others.

Counselling tends to be a short-term exploration of issues happening in a person's life at that moment in time. These could include relationship difficulties such as divorce, dealing with anxiety symptoms, or bereavement.

Life coaching is the practice of supporting a person through the process of achieving specific goals, be they at work, at home, or in a specific life situation. 

Are you regulated?

I’m fully insured and adhere both to the UK Council for Psychotherapy's ("UKCP") and the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy ("BACP") Ethical Frameworks for good practice in counselling and psychotherapy. I’m fully accredited by UKCP, am a Member of BACP and am on their Register. In my life coaching work, I comply with the standards developed by the International Coaching Community.


HOW LONG WILL PSYCHOTHERAPY, COUNSELLING, OR LIFE COACHING LAST?

This varies depending on your goals and needs. I’ve lots of experience of both short and long-term work and this can be discussed at your initial appointment. 


When are you available?

I have day and evening appointments available on weekdays. Subject to availability, a regular time and date can be agreed at the initial appointment.


What does it cost?

My fee per session is currently £120 (as at July 2024). Please note that:

- if you are currently on my waiting list, the fee when you start will be my rate at the time you originally contacted,

- I do have a few lower cost times, but these are currently taken on an open-ended basis (I’ll update here if and when this changes),   

- if you are a returning client, paid a lower fee previously and are wanting to return therapy, do contact me and we can talk about the session fee, 

- it is possible to have sessions every two weeks. This would need to work from a practical diary point of view and, obviously most importantly, be the best thing for you psychologically and emotionally, but we can discuss it if it’s something you’d like to do.

How can payment be made?

Payment is accepted either in person at each session (cash or cheque), or via direct bank transfer on the day of a session.

 
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where can you purchase the book?

My self-help book called Finding a Balanced Connection can be purchased through this website, Amazon and from Cobham’s great independent book shop, the Cobham Bookshop. To purchase from this site, just click the button below, and you can place your order.